80s-style hair Lady In endemic throughout the world and breakdance dimana2; 90s - a la Demi Moore's appearance and splashy disco-diskoan; era 2000s - Internet, blogs, Friendster, Facebook, Twitter, clubbing, a trip to the mall, watch, ' hanging out ', etc..Many changes and variations, one can follow but there are many who feel alienated.There's curiosity bandwagon, but can not afford, do not have the capital, can not enjoy, etc.
Why forced? In fact, teenagers do not want to impose ourselves, but Tempation to follow the style and habits of friends is much greater because of the direct effect is felt. There are so often invited to get together with my, are invited to watch, was elected a member of this or that, even just in the liver was pleased to greet it (because it is usually not tersapa). All this leads to the need to establish identity. For that, need a lot of positive feedback to build a positive self-concept. Not surprisingly, at this time the teenagers find a variety of opportunities and possibilities to establish identity, including engaging with groups that can channel the inspiration, creativity, hope and establish the values themselves.
Often overidentify Adolescents with heroes, Such as rock stars - or form cliques That confer a kind of collective identity on Them and in the which They stereotype themselves, Their Ideals and Their Enemies. These behaviors are part of Their effort to understand themselves and to formulate values
(Erik Erikson, psychologist)
The need for this identity that encourages teens to join the group. Teenagers are generally considered together is an expression of status, a symbol of "child slang" though with different degrees of intensity. So that almost all teenagers think, itself - is ugly, a sign can not get along, or do not like friends because of its rarity. As a result, many teens who do not have any friends, or even have no close friends, often finds that he is bad, bad, ugly, not cool, stupid and has lot of other negative attributes, accompanied by feelings of anger, hate, confusion and perhaps annoyed at myself own.Most first blamed, if not himself, usually - their parents "why I was born like this", why am I not allowed to paint my hair? "This gara2 mama do not allow me to a party at a friend" .. etc.
Teenagers are generally often face pressure from the environment, whether intentional or not. Accidentally, it means there is a teenager who accidentally cornered or made her feel uncomfortable and even hurt feelings. While unintentional, could be youth themselves who are uncomfortable because he was not disconnected with his friends.
Pressures faced by teenagers from his friends (peer pressure) so it demands a heavy load and due to the high intensity of the meeting. Every day teenagers met with the same friends from morning to afternoon / evening. Without realizing it, a sense of self teens suspended from the attitudes and reactions of others towards them. The problem is, if the negative reaction, adolescents who had a tendency "discouraged" or weak self concept, will absorb whatever other people say about him. It's so dangerous, because it is not necessarily true that assessment, let alone accurate. Meanwhile, teenagers are in the process discover the identity of "who I am."
Often Adolescents experience identity confusion (about sexual urges, Important decisions about That They May feel unprepared to make; Want To Participate in society but are Afraid of making Mistakes, or being misled). Teens cans develop a negative identity - a sense of being unworthy or bad Potentially
(Erik Erikson, psychologist)
These conditions make teenage stress, because it appears the urge to follow anyone who is considered an idol, or equate a lifestyle and appearance, such as friends who become their reference. The motivation, in order to have one thing in common with them. The similarity is expected to eliminate the individual elements that he considers not OK because of melting in group identity. Begin to change the appearance of youth, haircuts, hair color, nail polish uniforms, and even his life agenda is also adapted to the agenda of the group. The problem is, if the group was positive and many constructive activities (which build and develop the quality of self), teens can get benefits. The problem is, if the group was actually more negative and destructive (destructive), can damage the adolescent self-concept itself plunged into action and even dangerous.Moreover, if teenager is difficult say "no" when asked to engage in activities that do not fit his conscience.
Sure, every teenager wanted to be "standing on his own," or dare to be yourself. But to dare to be so, young people must have something strong in him, so do not be afraid of the reaction of others. That power could be an outstanding talent and ability, broad knowledge and logical thinking, principles and values, or even attitude (attitude) that has become a positive part of the character, eg social care, commitment, responsibility, leadership, etc.. For those who do not have the power, this time to develop power from within so that the period of identity formation, adolescents can gather evidence of positive rather than "words and the response of people", but based on personal experience and of course, the uniqueness of self.
Develop your own keunikanmu
Each teen must have a uniqueness, there already exist that have not been excavated.There is already expressed through various ways to become a prominent talent. But not all able to find a pearl inside him.
Starting from the interests and hobbies
There are many ways that teens can do to dig uniqueness. Extracurricular programs exist that facilitate adolescent interests and hobbies. Basketball, volleyball, martial arts, multimedia (computers and his brothers), dancing, singing, organizing, sewing, making cakes, accessories and even automotive - do not cost a great course. If teens have initiative, be able to use the facilities surrounding it. At school, at home, even for those interested in automotive, can learn from seeing neighbors work especial vehicle engine.For those who like art and craft, recycle many materials can be used and make money, too. These are just examples to show, if there's a will, there is a way!
Why are your hobbies and interests important? In the process of looking for identity, adolescents are often confused when asked, are you? What are your skills? What kelebihanmu? Hobbies and interests actually one of the foundations for healthy growth of character. Teenagers who have talent and interest manifested in the form of a hobby, will be more confident and not easily influenced by opinions or environmental stress. Not easily swept away and have a better adaptability.
Of hobbies and interests that is, teens build self milestone while providing what the mystery picture and want to know what kind of life who want to pass. So if teenagers have a variety of unique, different interests, preferences, skills, talents and choices, it is very reasonable and even good. Imagine if all the teenage uniform, the color and segaya, etc. sepola thought. Become like a robot or a mass production. The difference it will make many discoveries, new creations, and always dynamic. Dynamism and uniqueness that makes teens can grow according to their roots and find a way consistent with his vocation, not the bandwagon to take on the role that's not intended for him. If adolescents can develop the power of self, then teenagers are not easily subject to peer pressure; if ever exposed to, have the strength to bounce back because they know that life is not only current and friends not only in the environment that's all.
So no need to fear is different, because of the differences that can bring every teenager to find his identity. In contrast are cool too!
